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All lost in the supermarket

6 Oct

Imagine my surprise when, whilst doing my weekly big shop in Pudsey Asda I stumbled across none other than former indie-rock legend and current cheesemeister general, Alex James of Blur fame.

alex james asda pudsey cheese aj supermarket blur indie foodie

He was thoroughly pleasant, really well dressed and insanely FIT. Needless to say, I was charmed into buying cheese. Not the ghetto tomato sauce flavour, though. I’m not that much of a groupie.

The Apprentice – would you risk it for a chocolate biscuit?

29 Jun

Having just watched the latest installment of the BBC’s weekly cringefest, The Apprentice, I have decided to come up with my own biscuit.

This biscuit would be kind of like a Hob Nob (so a crumblier version of flap jack) but would be ginger flavoured, and covered with stripes of really bitter dark chocolate on one side.

I’d call my biscuit CRITCHERS’ CRUNCH (all caps) and the packaging would look like this:

the beano tin first aid kit beano biscuits the apprentice

My target market would be primarily people who liked the Beano when it was good (i.e. circa 1988) and the secondary target would be people who liked the kinds of things that no one else did, for example it’d appeal to those who opted for coffee or orange creams in the chocolates at Christmas, or to people who choose the cheese board over dessert after a posh meal. Ideally, the best people fall into both the Beano and the chocolates/cheese camp together, so that shouldn’t be a problem.

The price point would be £34.99 (three installments of) per tin and they’d be limited to 100 tins, released on an underground record/biscuits label in Leeds and once these biscuits were OOP they’d stay that way.

The commercial advantage/advertising backing to buyers would be that CRITCHERS’ CRUNCH sponsored the ill-fated yet critically acclaimed Slipknot/Britain’s Got Talent joint headline tour that got canned after initial rehearsals due to ‘artistic differences’ between the one with the long-nosed mask and DJ Talent.

I think we’d all agree that would be far superior to the pile of rubbish they came up with tonight on The Apprentice.

#oneaday 129: Hendo’s magic

25 May

I want to share with you today a little-known (to those living outside of South Yorkshire) culinary delight known as Henderson’s Relish. Here’s a rather lovely picture of it that was drawn by Kid Acne :

Kid Acne Hendo's Henderson's Relish Sheffield Archipelago Gallery Sheffield
Image courtesy of A.P.G. Gallery (I used to live behind it back when it was called Archipelago Gallery, but it doesn’t mean I can nick their images so please click and go and buy yourself something nice from their website).

Henderson’s Relish – or Hendo’s, as it is called by those in the know is a wonderful condiment that can be used to make pretty much any food taste even better than it already does, from Cheese on Toast to Chips, from Baked Beans to Pies (all the main food groups there, kids). I remember being surprised when I moved all of those long 40 miles up the M1 to Leeds to find that this magical elixir of life was nowhere near as ubiquitous as it is in Sheffield. They have it in pubs in Shezza with salt and pepper to just put on your dinner. Alas, this was not so in the Knightsbridge of the North. This very sauce led to a whole debate in my office the other day about the benefits of regional food, from Parmos to Oatcakes to Pontefract Cakes to…

…Anyway, I digress. As I said, you can add it to anything and everything, the possibilities are, as they say, endless.

And now they’re even more endless than they were before, with this weird and wonderful list giving us 48 unique uses for Hendo’s, courtesy of The Wookie.

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#oneaday 110: Home-made quasi tapas

22 Apr

To celebrate the start of the bank holiday, the chap and I went a-lazing on the grass outside our flat. We then came home and I rustled up a makeshift late lunch of home-made quasi tapas:

home made tapas

Fair enough, it’s only olives, crisps and bread and oil, but I still felt quite continental.

#oneaday 90: London pub reviews

3 Apr

This entry is for Friday, I didn’t update as I was jetsetting off to Londres for a hot date with a hot man. I took a half day holiday from work and caught the train to Paddington where I was met on the platform by said chap. We headed out for a thoroughly lovely evening around Paddington and Westbourne Park. Which brings me to the point for today’s entry: recommendations for nice places for a beer and a bite to eat in that neck of the woods.

The Chapel (near Edgware road tube, not sure what the area is called)

the chapel pub london

Lovely little laid-back bistro type pub (don’t want to say Gastropub as I’ll sound like an idiot, but that’s what it is). I had blue cheese tagliatelle and it was lush. Lots of different ales and ciders on tap and apparently they’re semi-famous for their wines although I didn’t try those. Definitely recommend it for an informal date or similar.

The Cow (Notting Hill)

the cow london pub notting hill

Oysters and Guinness (neither of which we had) are specialities in this busy little pub. The food looked and smelled amazing and the bar had a nice, cosy feel to it.

The Westbourne (Notting Hill)

The Westbourne pub London

Another lovely, rustic, laid back pub. Only negative is that the drinks selection wasn’t as diverse as it could have been. It has a great terrace out front and as it was a gorgeous, balmy, spring night we mingled with the Notting Hill lovelies out there.

All in all a fabulous night with a fabulous chap. Plus the apartment we stayed in had a moat. An infinity moat. Brilliant.

#oneaday 76: Thai’d up

17 Mar

I won’t be able to post later so today’s #oneaday is a shortie. The reason I won’t be able to post is because I’ll be literally (yes, literally. Not really) Thai’d up. I’m off out with the chaps from my office for Thai food at Thai Sabai in Headingley. Being the digital pioneers (and tight sods) that we are, we’re going armed with vouchers from Groupon, hoping that they work.

Has anyone got a brilliant bargain from Groupon before? What was it?

I’ll report back on tonight’s experience tomorrow, which is, as Rebecca Black so eloquently puts it, Friday:

#oneaday 71: Recipe for a perfect Saturday morning

12 Mar

Today I’m going to share with you my secret recipe for a lovely Saturday morning:

recipe for a lovely Saturday morning

1. Do not set an alarm on Friday night

2. Pre-heat bed to 20°c (temperature can vary, consider adding a hot water bottle for extra cosiness or opening the window if you’re too warm)

2. Wake up at your own leisurely pace, preferably to sunshine streaming through the windows

3. Get someone to make you a cup of tea in bed. Add music to taste.

4. Also get said someone to go out and pick up:

4a.) Copy of the Saturday Guardian

4b.) Bagels from Bagel Nash (preferably the New Yorker)

5. Have said paper and bagel delivered to you in bed

6. Add more tea until full. Coffee may be used as an alternative if preferred

6. Languish in your leisurely state for around 2 hours or until you feel sufficiently rested and ready to get up and go to the gym

 

Et voila! There you have it, the perfect Saturday morning. Take self out of bed, tip out into shower and then decorate as desired. Goes well with Saturday Afternoons and Saturday Nights. Recipe can also be adapted to suit Sunday mornings, simply add a copy of the Observer in place of the Saturday Guardian and substitute bagel for scrambled eggs on toast.

#oneaday 66: I did it all for the gnocchi

7 Mar

On Saturday I made gnocchi from scratch, for the first time.

I was surprised to learn that it’s basically boiled balls of mashed potato with egg and flour, but hey; every day’s a school day as They say. It actually ended up being a bit sloppier in texture than I would have liked, so if anyone has any tips on how that can be avoided, that’d be greatly appreciated.

For now, I can cross gnocchi off my ‘to cook’ list and move onto my next culinary challenge, Greek cuisine. I don’t know if anyone reading this ever went to that amazing Greek deli on Hunter’s Bar roundabout in Sheffield, but if you did you’ll know exactly the kind of food I’m going to make.

greedy greek deli sheffield

Dolmades, moussaka, hoummous, olives (obvz won’t make those), and anything with Feta or Halloumi cheese. Any recipe suggestions are welcome as I don’t currently have a Greek cookbook.

Υγεία!

#oneaday 47: Weightloss, erm, I mean Masterchef Wednesday

16 Feb

Weightloss Wednesday is not being helped by the fact that I’ve just started watching the new series of Masterchef.

I love Masterchef and food in general, I adore cooking and have a list of things that I’d like to get good at:

Fondant potatoes
Yorkshire pudding
Scallops
exciting veg

But everyone knows the best bit about Masterchef is:

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